I have one of the hardest time today. It’s weekend here. I love to spend my weekend with my wife. Just to hang around. Clean the house. Do some groceries shopping. Take a walk in the park. Or just simply watch tv at home. However, today, I have to do everything on my own.
I went shopping ‘alone’. Eating and thinking at the back of my mind that my wife will like the food. I saw some interesting place and knowing that she will love it too. After dinner, I took a walk in the park and the emptiness just overwhelmed me. I just think this will be nice if she is around here. Just holding hand and taking a stroll in the park and looking at geese and ducks in the pond, having the wonderful breeze blowing at you on the face, smelling the oak trees, watching the birds flying and hearing them singing, looking at the wheat turning brown and dances to the breeze and seeing sunset and then the city lights up just simply too much for an empty heart.
What do you do in the situation like these? Do you still pursue what you have or just simply leave behind all these, not just dreams and ambition but the plan and destiny that God has plan for you. I know some will says God might have better plan. God don’t have better plan when it is always the best plan. So how do one who have known that it’s God’s will, will react when he himself struggling with life? How do I embrace what God has plan for me and personalize it and pursue the DESTINY God has?
I know God will give US the strength to overcome. God will teach us but how long do I need to learn? TIME will HEAL and time will help us to OVERCOME. I know I AM MORE THAN CONQUEROR IN CHRIST JESUS! But I also know life will get harder the next round I leave her again. I know because the time apart will longer now, not just weeks but months. Today is just the 4th days we are apart and it’s just so overwhelming now.
Now I am staying with someone and she has my brother to accompany her. But later, she will be alone and I will be staying alone. We will cook dinner alone. Eat alone. Watch TV alone. Exercise alone. Drive alone. Clean the house alone. Listen to music alone. No one to share your laughter with nor share you burden with. How do you do that?
I know the internet does brings the world nearer. I chat with her using the Skype and it’s free. I can see her too. But the misery is we can see each other with holding each other. We have to be strong so that we don’t cry when we see each other. You love it that you can see each other but hate it that you can’t be there.
Winter will come when the days get bright at about 10am and gets dark at 4pm. How that nature too will at misery to that during one of the hardest time of your life? You will feel just so cold. Physically and emotionally.
I am not sure if you can picture and imagine what I have written but when there is no birds singing in wood or flying in the air, seeing trees without leaves, no more grass, frozen lakes, creeks, streams and ponds what do you feel?
I am just relying on God for strength, courage and wisdom to overcome all these. From the beginning we have made the prayer, God, You have save us and You have the best plan for us. You just use both of us where You want us to be and however way You want us to do. Now we know that we are walking the path and on the destiny God has for us. This is just the beginning of the plans that He planned for us.
We will just need rely and hang on Him for our days ahead!
